By Dr. Norlain Dindang Mababaya
By
Dr. Norlain Dindang Mababaya
Islâm is the only religion that clearly raises the status of the parents to a high degree and honor. In fact, Allâh I in many Âyât of the Qur’ân has commanded us to please our parents after pleasing Him. After our firm belief in Him, our Creator has enjoined us to treat our parents with kindness and respect:
“...Worship none but Allâh and be dutiful and treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and give zakat...” (2:83)
“Serve Allâh, and join not any partners with Him; and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbors who are of kin, neighbors who are strangers, the companions by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and what your right hands possess: for Allâh loves not the arrogant, vainglorious.” (4:36)
“Say: ‘Come, I will rehearse what Allâh has (really) prohibited you from: join not anything with Him; be good to your parents; kill not your children on a plea of want, We provide sustenance for you and for them; come not nigh to indecent deeds, whether open or secret; take not life, which Allâh has made sacred, except by way of justice and law. Thus does He command you, that you may learn wisdom.’” (6:151)
In line with the above Qur’ânic injunctions is the commonly quoted Hâdith which shows how the true Muslim must be more dutiful to his parents than any other person in the world:
Abu Hurairah t narrated that a man came to Allâh’s Messenger r and said, “O Allâh’s Messenger! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?” The Prophet r said, “Your mother.” The man said, “Who is next?” The Prophet r said, “Your mother.” The man further said, “Who is next?” The Prophet r said, “Your mother.” The man asked (for the fourth time), “Who is next?” The Prophet r said, “Your father.” (Bukhâri 8/ 2 and Muslim 4/ 6180-6183)
Allâh I the All Knowing and Most Merciful knows that parents especially mothers bear hardships in rearing their children. Thus, He commands children to show gratefulness to their parents. Every man, therefore, is expected to be good to his parents, especially when they attain their old age where they need most his care, service and respect:
“Your Rabb (only God and Sustainer) has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say: O my Rabb (only God and Sustainer) (Only God and Cherisher)! Bestow on them (my parents) Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (17:23-24)
And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), “Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) Goal.” But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me. In the End the return of you all is to Me. And I will tell you all that you did. (31:14-15)
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (46:15)
It is for our success that we must obey Allâh I by showing our utmost kindness and respect to our parents. We must also obey them for as long as they do not command us something that disobeys Allâh I. We have to remember that if we please them, we please Allâh I. This means, that through our parents we can attain Allâh’s rewards in the eternal world:
Abdullâh ibn Mas’ud t narrated: “I asked the Prophet r which deed is the dearest to Allâh? He replied, “To offer salaat (the prayers) at their early fixed times.” I asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” He replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents.” I again asked, “What is the next (in goodness)? “He replied, “To participate in jihad (religious fighting) in Allâh’s Cause.” (Bukhâri 1/505)
Abu Hurairah t narrated that Allâh’s Messenger said, “Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust.” It was said, “Allâh’s Messenger, who is he?” He said, “He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise.” (Muslim 6189)
Abu Darda t narrated that when a man came to him and said, “I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce.” He replied to him that he had heard Allâh’s Messenger r say, “A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it.” (Tirmidhi 4928 and Ibn Majah)
For every Muslim it is a blessing from Allâh I if he has parents who are old as it gives him the opportunity to serve them and thus earns Allâh’s pleasure. He will receive success, especially the supreme success in Paradise if he follows Allâh’s commandment to be dutiful to his parents. This means to take care of his old parents as members of his family and not to let them stay in other’s houses or at the home of the aged. Another best way to show goodness to our parents is by including them in our daily prayers that Allâh I will forgive them and grant them Mercy:
“O my Rabb! Make me one who performs prayers and (also) from my offspring, our Rabb! And accept my invocation. Our Rabb! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.” (14:40-41)
“O my Rabb! Bestow on them (my parents) Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (17:24)
“My Rabb! Forgive me and my parents and anyone who enters my home as a believer. And to the disbelievers, grant no increase but destruction.” (71:28)
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